New Year, New Strategies

New Year’s resolutions are tricky. So often, people choose ones that are so lofty, it’s impossible to reach them. Other times, resolutions are simply not easily added to our daily routines and are forgotten or just fall by the wayside. This year, like everyone else reading this, I am determined to keep my three 2019 promises to myself, but I’m not off to a good start! So, I’ve come up with some strategies that will, hopefully, help to keep myself on task.

I don’t usually share my resolutions, but I want to hold myself more accountable this year, so I’m going to share them with the 1000+ people reading this! I’ve set three goals for 2019:
1. I want to continue getting back into the routine of saying a daily Rosary.
2. I want to make it to a gym class at least three times each week.
3. I MUST stop saying, “I already told you…” to my husband!

Yesterday was January 1st, and I was determined to start the year off right. I was going to say my Rosary before Mass, but, of course, we had an issue with the altar ministries that I had to sort out, so that didn’t happen. All day, I intended to fit it into my schedule, but in all honesty, I never took the time to make it happen. So, FAIL, right off the bat!

Enter, strategy one:

🔷 I will find a time during my daily routine that will allow me to have 20 minutes to say my Rosary. Now, I know when that time will work for me, but when will it work for you? When can you find the time in your day to do that one thing you’re determined to do to make yourself a better person? Are you an early riser? Can you wake up 15-20 minutes earlier than normal every day for the next year in order to accomplish one of your resolutions? Or are you a late-night person? A danger I have found in trying to do something late at night is that I’m often so tired, I can’t stay up any longer than normal, so keeping my eyes open an additional 20 minutes just doesn’t happen. But the reality is, we all have 15-20 minutes in our day that we can squeeze in something that is important to us. Have you timed yourself on how long you scroll through Facebook? I bet it’s easily 15 minutes for many people. Ask yourself, what’s more important to you–seeing what everyone is bragging about online or making yourself a better person?

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This morning, I was headed to the gym for my Wednesday morning cardio class. Just before I was to walk out the door, my husband walked into the kitchen in a panic. He was so tired when he went up to bed last night, he removed his hearing aids and couldn’t remember where he put them! It was an all-out search for the next twenty minutes, and by the time we found them, it was too late for me to make it to class.

Strategy number two:

🔷 Compromise and improvise. I know that the internet has an endless supply of exercise videos, and many can be streamed right to my television using the ROKU. A quick search gave me dozens of options. The first couple were not what I wanted, but on the third try, I found the perfect video. Freedom Fit with  Jenny Ford had exactly the cardio routine I was looking for. It was the right length, style, and pace. Even better, it nearly matched the routine my regular fitness coach does in class. Sure, I would rather have been with my gals at the gym, but the other alternative was to blow off the workout for today. I told myself, when devising my resolutions, that blowing off my workouts was not an option, and I felt so good about myself when my workout was done. When life gets in the way, don’t let yourself down. Find a way to make your resolution happen. It might not be exactly what you intended, but a little compromising goes a long way. And maybe a different time or different place will inspire you even more than the original or usual plan.

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Two down, one to go. How am I going to tackle my third resolution? Admittedly, this will be the hardest one to keep. Raise your hand if you feel like you have to tell your husband over and over and over again the same things.

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See–I knew it wasn’t just me! Deep breath.. The real question is, does pointing that out each time it happens actually help the situation? Not in the least. In fact, it just leads to wasted time, hurt feelings, and extreme exasperation for both of us. Starting today, I will try really hard to think before I speak. Not an easy task, believe me. But it’s something I’ve always said I was going to be better at with everyone I encounter, and now seems to be the right time to start.

So, strategy three…

🔷 As in any difficult or knee-jerk type of situation, take a deep breath and count to ten. Hey, even counting to five is better than jumping in without considering the consequences. And then, take a second to digest what’s really going on and how to respond to it. Have a chest of other verbal options at your disposal. Instead of saying, “I already told you…” what else can I say that isn’t accusatory or inflammatory? Having several, well-intentioned responses will be more helpful and amicable than basically telling my husband, once again, that I am right, he is wrong, and if he would just listen to me, we wouldn’t be in this situation! That argument never seems to get me anywhere. And when I do speak, I need to watch my tone. That always seems to get me into so much trouble. Deeply inhaling and taking the time to think through my response should help me temper my tone. It certainly can’t hurt. Don’t you have something that you’re working on this year that would be more successful if you take just a moment to breathe deeply and ponder your reaction before you do or say something you will regret?

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No matter what your resolutions are, I’m confident that you and I can be successful in sticking with them for the next 363 days. If we just make a concerted effort to take time for what matters most, learn to compromise and improvise, and take a deep breath, a step back, or a moment to evaluate, we can accomplish anything.

So, what are your resolutions, and how can you put these three simple strategies into use to help make 2019 your best year yet?

What I was writing about a year ago this week: Learning From the Past, Preserving the Future.

Amy Schisler is an award-winning author of both children’s books and sweet, faith-filled romance novels for readers of all ages. She lives with her husband and three daughters on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Her books, Picture MeWhispering Vines, and Island of Miracles are all recipients of Illumination Awards, placing them among the top inspirational fiction books of 2015, 2016, and 2017. Whispering Vines was awarded the 2017 LYRA Award for the best romance of 2016.  Island of Miracles has outsold all of Amy’s other books worldwide and ranked as high as 600 on Amazon. Her follow up, Island of Promise is a reader favorite. Amy’s children’s book is The Greatest Gift. The suspense novel, Summer’s Squall, and all of Amy’s books, can be found online and in stores. Her latest novel, Island of Promise, was recently awarded First Prize by the Oklahoma Romance Writer’s Association as the best Inspirational Romance of 2018.

You may follow Amy on Facebook at http://facebook.com/amyschislerauthor, Twitter @AmySchislerAuth, Goodreads at https://www.goodreads.com/amyschisler and at http://amyschislerauthor.com.

Amy’s books: Crabbing With Granddad (2013), A Place to Call Home (2014), Picture Me (2015), Whispering Vines (2016), Island of Miracles (2017), Stations of the Cross Meditations for Moms (2017), The Greatest Gift (2017), Summer’s Squall (2017), Island of Promise (2018).

 

Defining Success

It’s an amazing thing to watch your children grow. I guess I’ve always known that being a parent is a special gift that holds a lifetime of rewards, but you really don’t get it until your children are on their own. Sure, you experience the joy of a baby, the thrills of all the “firsts” that a child goes through, the gold stars on homework and tests, the first goal on the playing field, the magical moments of their first love. But you never truly understand what a gift you’ve been given until a couple decades have passed, or come close to passing. That’s when you stop seeing them as children and begin seeing them as real, grown-up, decision-making, mistake-prone people. It’s also when you begin to wonder, even worry, about how they will define and discover success.

Because being successful, according to world standards, is hard! There’s so much conflicting advice out there. Find your passion. Make lots of money. Wait to get married. Go, get married. Wait to have children. Have children while you’re young. Make money, not babies. Follow your heart. Follow your head. How is any young person supposed to know what to do? Did you know that 80% of college students in the US change their majors at least once, and most students change their majors three times in the course of their college careers? Why? They have no idea what they should do, or WANT to do, to be successful.

Our oldest, Rebecca, has known for years that she wants to be an attorney. Her father, an attorney, majored in Biology and Chemistry and told her from the start that she should choose a major she loved and work hard to be the best in that field of study. He knew, as Elle Woods learned, that you don’t have to slog through political science to get into law school (that’s coming from yours truly, a poli sci major). Rebecca took this to heart…eventually. She tried out several majors, beginning with criminal justice, and moving on to an array of others before finding that she had a passion for philosophy. It seemed that every other month, she called me with the familiar opening, “Mom, I’m changing my major.” I often wondered if she would ever finish college. But she did, and in only four years.

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The day Rebecca decided on Catholic University’s Columbus School of Law

With a double major in philosophy and sociology, as well as a minor in legal studies, she made it into one the best law programs in the country and finished her first year, ranked within the top of 20 of the class. So much for doing things the traditional way, or even the easy way. Rebecca found what she loved and made it work for her. I’d call that a good start on the road to success.

Throughout Katie’s life, everyone she encountered told her that she would make a wonderful teacher. Katie wanted no parts of that. She whole-heartedly believed those who told her that being a teacher just isn’t worth it. She was often told that children were too hard to deal with, that the money isn’t worth the hassle, and that she was too smart to teach. She applied for college as a communication major, hoping to make her love of photography and her writing skills the building blocks of a successful career in journalism. Just two weeks before she left for college, she came to me in a panic. “Mom, I don’t want to be a journalist. I want to be a teacher!” Hallelujah! I was so happy, I almost cried. Okay, maybe I did cry a little. After a few phone calls and several emails, Katie’s class schedule was adjusted, and she was ready to begin her study of education.

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Katie and some of her students

And how about now, ten months later? Katie is student-teaching at a bilingual school in Peru and loving every second of it. Every day, I look forward to her texts, containing pictures of “her kids”  and details about what she’s teaching them. And here’s what has struck her the most–in Peru, like many countries outside of the US, she found that “teachers are treated like rock stars!”

 

Do you know that teachers’ salaries in the US ranked TWNETY-SEVENTH in the modern world, ahead of Italy, Hungary, Chile, and the Slovak and Czech Republics? And that US teachers are tied with doctors and nurses for the most stressful careers and get little support for the hard, demanding jobs they do? Where are our priorities, America? 

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Checking out the nursing lab at Morgan’s chosen college.

And speaking of nurses… Morgan will be a senior in high school in the fall. More focused than almost any young person I know, she has already chosen her college and her field of study. After the suffering and death of her grandfather, earlier this year, Morgan knew that she was being called to be a nurse. But what was she recently told by a family member? “Be a doctor. You’re too smart to be a nurse.”

What is it with our culture that makes us diminish the importance of certain necessary careers? Did you know that nurses almost never have trouble finding a job? That being a nurse “is the ultimate opportunity” for travel? That nurses can specialize in any area of interest, bringing their passions to their job in ways most people will never be able to? That they are “the most trusted profession”? And that they have tremendous earning power? These are just a few of the many reasons to choose nursing over any other profession. Yet I know that many people will look down on Morgan, like they will Katie, because her chosen profession just isn’t good enough.

 

On the heels of the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, many are wondering who, if anyone, is immune to the disease of helplessness and despair. While attorneys sit right in the middle of those more or less likely to take their own lives, health care professionals have an 80% lower suicide rate than the top victims of suicide. The lowest rate was in teachers, educators, and librarians. Perhaps we need to take a long, hard look at what really makes people happy, where they can find comfort and hope, and how they can discover their self-worth and be successful.

Perhaps we will never all agree about what true success is. Sure, you can listen to all kinds of Ted Talks, telling you what success is and how to achieve it. But I think that Inc. Magazine was pretty close to the mark when it printed, “If you believe success is simply making (or having) a lot of money, you may be setting yourself up for failure.” The author claims that success means one of two things to most people–either you’re happy or you’re rich. He argues that to be truly successful, you should be both. He says that the key is to define success as being happy, finding your passion, and becoming rich in happiness, which can lead to monetary wealth as well. 

My grandfather had a plaque on his desk that now sits on my husband’s dresser. The quote is most often attributed to Robert Louis Stevenson. It’s a beautiful verse that I hope my girls, and all of you, will remember and take to heart.

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Please join me in celebrating the much-anticipated release of Island of Promise, the second book in my Chincoteague Island Trilogy. I am very happy to partner with Sundial Books on Chincoteague for this celebration. All are welcome on Wednesday, July 24 from 1:00-3:00 at Sundial Books. For more details:  https://www.facebook.com/events/238528263576139

The second book in Amy’s Chincoteague Island Trilogy, Island of Promise, is now available to pre-order.

What I was writing about this time last year:  Three Simple but GIGANTIC Reasons to Try Something New

Amy Schisler is an award winning author of both children’s books and sweet, faith-filled romance novels for readers of all ages. She lives with her husband and three daughters on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Her books, Picture Me, Whispering Vines,  and Island of Miracles are all recipients of Illumination Awards, placing them among the top inspirational fiction books of 2015, 2016, and 2017. Whispering Vines was awarded the 2017 LYRA Award for the best romance of 2016.  Island of Miracles has outsold all of Amy’s other books worldwide and ranked as high as 600 on Amazon. Her latest children’s book, The Greatest Gift, is now available; and her novel, Summer’s Squall, can be found online and in stores. 

You may follow Amy on Facebook at http://facebook.com/amyschislerauthor, Twitter @AmySchislerAuth, Goodreads at https://www.goodreads.com/amyschislerand at http://amyschislerauthor.com.

Amy’s books: Crabbing With Granddad (2013), A Place to Call Home (2014), Picture Me (2015), Whispering Vines (2016), Island of Miracles (2017), Stations of the Cross Meditations for Moms (2017), The Greatest Gift (2017), Summer’s Squall (2017).

 

“Without any doubting or quiddit”

img_0995My daughter, Rebecca, will be taking the LSAT this weekend and I’m sure you can imagine that she’s quite nervous about it.  She’s afraid that she won’t get a high enough score to get into the school of her choice, but I’m not worried.  I know that she’s going to do just fine.  And if she doesn’t?  What if she walks in there and completely goes blank?  What if she forgets everything she has ever learned or studied about the law?  I’m sure that she will see herself as a total failure.  I’m sure that she will see herself as having made an unforgivable error in judgment.  But we have heard time and again, and I truly believe, that failure is just the first step on the road to success.  No, it’s not what she would want to hear, but it’s true.  We all screw up.  We all make mistakes.  And if we take what we’ve learned, see through the haze of self-doubt and recriminations, then we can use our past failures as steps to success. 

Many of my friends have ‘favorite saints,’ people who have come before us and set an example for us, and can now intercede on our behalves when we need extra help.  Many of these saints are seen by the world as flawless believers who never had a misstep or lapse of judgement, who never committed a sin or broke a law, and who never wavered in their faith in God and themselves.  Well, those people would be very, very wrong.  In fact, most of the saints made the same mistakes we make, but they didn’t give up or give in.  They continued to work every day to become the person that God knew they could be.  The same goes for so many average individuals throughout history.  Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.  Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before inventing the lightbulb.  Henry Ford went bankrupt trying to invent the car. But they all persevered, believing they had something to offer the world.

Those individuals did not dwell on failure.  They knew that it’s in seeing past the possibility of failure that we achieve success.  When Rebecca was in high school, she participated in Poetry Out Loud and blazed through the competition, just missing the chance to compete at Nationals.  One of the poems she recited was It Couldn’t Be Done by Edward Albert Guest.  His formula to success was quite elementary, “I take simple everyday things that happen to me and I figure it happens to a lot of other people and I make simple rhymes out of them.”  Those rhymes are an inspiration to anyone who hears them.  Rebecca, I’m sure, remembers every line of that poem, and I urge her to recite it before the test.  For those of you unfamiliar with the rhyme, you might just want to memorize it yourself and pull it out of the recesses of your brain when you’re faced with a daunting task.

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This past weekend, we attended Family Fest at Rebecca’s university, Mount St. Mary’s. We met and spoke with several professors who sang Rebeca’s praises.  One of them,  a science professor, said that Rebecca reminded her of herself.  She said that someone once told her that she was going to be successful because she was too naive to see borders and would just plow through them.  There is no doubt that the same has been and will continue to be said about Rebecca.  So I’d like to leave her and all of you with some quotes of inspiration.  This is the advice that I want Rebecca to take with her into the LSAT this weekend.  Be strong, have faith, and do your best.  You will not fail because when you look into the future, you can only see the path to success.

“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” – Coco Chanel

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho

“to fear nothing, not failure or suffering or even death, indicates that you value life the most. You live to the extreme; you push limits; you spend your time building legacies.” – Criss Jami

“What is the point of being alive if you don’t try to do something remarkable.” – John Green

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Amy Schisler is an award winning author of both children’s books and novels for readers of all ages.  She lives with her husband and three daughters on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Her book, Picture Me, is the recipient of an Illumination Award, placing it among the top three eBooks of 2015. Her latest book, Whispering Vines, is now available for purchase.

You may follow Amy on Facebook at http://facebook.com/amyschislerauthor on Twitter @AmySchislerAuth, on Goodreads at https://www.goodreads.com/amyschisler and on her web site http://amyschislerauthor.com.

Amy’s books: Crabbing With Granddad (2013), A Place to Call Home (2014), Picture Me(2015), Whispering Vines (2016)