Some days, writing this blog is so hard!
Some days, getting out of bed is hard.
Some days just breathing is hard.
I know I’m not the only person who feels like she’s on a roller coaster that just won’t return to the station or a merry-go-round that keeps spinning and spinning without ever slowing or stopping. When can we get off this ride? When can we leave this hellish nightmare of an amusement park? I’m so tired of being trapped in the fun house where all I’m doing is walking through the spinning barrel and trying not to fall down or making my way across the uneven floors with jets of air spraying up around me or getting lost between the mirrors of distortion. And when I get to the exit, will the slide have an end in sight or will I keep sliding and sliding, faster and faster, twisting and turning, before I tumble out into an unforeseeable future?
When and how does all of this madness end? Will we ever be able to…
live normally again?
Will I be able to see my friends, hug them, and spend quality time with them?
Will I be able to travel?
Will I be able to trust that any place I lay my head or touch with my hand will be clean and safe?
There are so many questions, and nobody seems to have the answers.
I recently had a COVID test, and it was the most surreal, and honestly, most ridiculous experience I’ve ever had. Nobody asked me about symptoms. I never saw a doctor. I was never examined. Nobody listened to my chest. One woman came in and out, taking my temperature and blood pressure and then returning to administer the test. After, she handed my “discharge papers” and said goodbye.
“Wait!” I said. “What about the strep test the doctor wanted?”
It was a prolonged and extremely sore throat and headache that sent me to the clinic to begin with. The woman hastily left and returned with the test, told me to wait five minutes for the results, then sent me home with a negative diagnosis.
On my discharge papers, under unreported symptoms, ran a list as long as my arm. Under reported symptoms, there was nothing. It didn’t mattered that I listed several symptoms on my take-in sheet. They weren’t there. Under follow up it read, “If symptoms persist for three days, see primary care physician. If fever free for three days, resume normal activity.” I never had a fever at all.
Most disturbing were the words, “Patient reported contact with and exposure to someone with the virus.”
Um, no. In fact, upon arrival, I stated the exact opposite.
I called and let them know that there had been a mistake and that I wanted it changed. The woman on the other line said, “I’m sorry about that. I’ll let the provider know, and she can change it. Thanks for calling.”
“Wait a minute!” I said. “Don’t you need my name, my date of birth? Something so you can pull the file?”
“Oh, yeah, give me your name.” And then, “I’ll pass it along. Have a nice day!” Click.
In talking to others about this experience (and the ridiculous 7+ days it takes to get results), I’ve heard similar stories. One person told me she has been waiting over 14 days to hear something and that her test still isn’t even showing up on the website she was given.
We are living in a fun house, and like the carnival exhibit, it’s not very much fun.
Some of the people I love most in the world have cancelled plans to attend my daughter’s wedding. People aren’t leaving their houses out of fear. Others are crowding into bars and swarming other public places without care. Everything seems to come down to where you stand on politics. WHAT???? Where is the sense in that?
I asked my sister-in-law yesterday, “Not to sound dramatic, but do you think this is how people felt during times of war?”
Her response: “I am sure it is how people felt during war. Hang in there. I love you”
Love, hope, faith, happiness, joy, beauty…where are they? How can we find them?
I’m tired of spending so much of my day crying over what has been lost and what can’t be. I’ve grown weary from bargaining with God and begging for relief. I’m so sick of hearing nothing but doom and gloom on the news.
There is good news coming from Great Britain, Italy, Germany, New Zealand, Australia, Vietnam. Why aren’t we talking about that?
I need to hear good news. I need to hear something uplifting that happened to you today. I will start us off with the news that my Morgan, after six weeks in a cast, is in a boot as of this morning! She’s ready for our family camping trip!
So, please tell me, what’s your good news today?
We all know there’s good out there. I have no doubt there’s a silver lining ahead. I know that God is still there, still listening, still reaching out to us. I still see this, don’t you?
Let me know where you see hope and what good things are happening in your life. Somebody out there needs to hear it.
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Amy Schisler is an award-winning author of both children’s books and sweet, faith-filled romance novels for readers of all ages. She lives with her husband and three daughters on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Her books, Picture Me, Whispering Vines, and Island of Miracles are all recipients of Illumination Awards, placing them among the top inspirational fiction books of 2015, 2016, and 2017. Whispering Vines was awarded the 2017 LYRA Award for the best romance of 2016. Island of Miracles has outsold all of Amy’s other books worldwide and ranked as high as 600 on Amazon. Her follow up, Island of Promise is a reader favorite. Amy’s children’s book is The Greatest Gift. The suspense novel, Summer’s Squall, and all of Amy’s books, can be found online and in stores. Her latest novel, Island of Promise, was recently awarded First Prize by the Oklahoma Romance Writer’s Association as the best Inspirational Romance of 2018 and was awarded a Gold Medal in the Independent Publisher Book Awards 2019 for Inspirational Fiction. It is the 2019 winner for Best Inspirational Fiction in the RWA Golden Quill Contest, Best Romance in the American Book Awards, and a finalist for the Eric Hoffer Award of Fiction. Amy’s 2019 work, The Devil’s Fortune, a finalist in the Writer’s Digest Self-Publishing Awards and winner of an Illumination Award, is based, in part, on Amy’s family history. The third book of Amy’s Chincoteague Island Trilogy, Island of Hope, was released in August of 2019.
Amy’s books: Crabbing With Granddad (2013), A Place to Call Home (2014), Picture Me (2015), Whispering Vines (2016), Island of Miracles (2017), Stations of the Cross Meditations for Moms (2017), The Greatest Gift (2017), Summer’s Squall (2017), Island of Promise (2018), The Devil’s Fortune (2019), Island of Hope (2019).